So....

My emotional/mental state continues to fluctuate. Right now, I feel pretty balanced, though, which is good. I put that partly down to remembering to take my anti-depressants (always helps...) and partly to managing to be vaguely productive at home. Each evening this week, I've been singling out a little area to work on, and tidying and cleaning it just a few minutes at a time - interspersed with doing a bit of reading, normally. As a result of which, I've got a fairly clear bedroom floor area (needs hoovering, though), including access to my wardrobe, and the stairs are also fairly clear too (although again, they need hoovering). I feel fairly chipper as a result of that - yes, in the overall scheme of things it's not massively important, but it sort of feels as though things aren't getting on top of me any more, which is positive and uplifting. This morning, I was sorting through a pile of clothes that have built up - some need cleaning, some are clean (which is terribly confusing, but means I'll be bunging a wash on tonight).

Tomorrow, Sarah and I will be going to Watford to celebrate her sister's birthday - nothing major, but should be a good family gathering. Then on Sunday, I'm hoping that we'll go to celebrate my grandmother's birthday (I've asked Sarah if she'll let me drive there - it's only in Shenfield, so as long as she remembers the L plates I'm legal to drive there with her in the car). Also, it'd be nice for Sarah to see Eleni and Jakob - she's not seen Eleni yet! And when I was visiting Antonia on Wednesday evening, I showed Jakob my favourite pic of me and Sarah, and Jakob asked, "when is auntie Sarah coming here?" Aw, bless!

Also, we have a voucher to use up in Loch Fyne before the end of the month. We had a pleasant time the last time we went there, so it'd be a shame not to use it.

And end of next week I get paid, after which...Christmas shopping.

Two completely disconnected things.

Firstly, thanks to a discussion over on doctorwho, I've got images of Jack Davenport as the 11th Doctor. Now that could be good...

Secondly, y'know how sometimes I flashback? A little scene from my past will spring unbidden to my mind's eye, and it either fuels my depression or it's a symptom of it. Anyway...

Today something slightly different happened. I saw something totally unrelated to anything that's happened to me in the past - just an idyllic scenario. Something I really hope happens.

Me and Sarah, walking through an autmnal park, pushing a pushchair. In which was, presumably, a baby.

I mean, I've always wanted to be a father, and although ironically I've sort of had second thoughts since becoming an uncle (the whole, how can I put it, bodily waste matter thing isn't exactly enticing..!), I think that fatherhood would be nice. Don't know if I'd make a good father, but hey, one thing at a time...

So anyway. Yeah. Nice picture in my mind.

Oh, and I showed a couple of my work colleagues the pictures that Sarah and I had taken of us last week, and they commented favourably on them, and one of them said I looked handsome in them. *blushes*

I think I'm in a good mood right now.