I still can't...

[royalmarriage]

...let go of things people did to hurt me five years ago.

I want to, I need to, but right now - and for large chunks of the past five years - I've dredged up this stuff and turned it this way and that way in my mind to try to get some sort of handle on it, to try to understand why people I thought of as friends could be so fundamentally meanspirited, and it never works, and it just drives me deeper and deeper into a part of my depression that, more than any of the other parts, I wish would just go away.

Right now, I feel like a complete...mess-up. Substitute four-letter word of your choice for "mess," if you so please. But yeah. I'm my own worst enemy. I just can't seem to get rid of it.

Help?

Comments

[fiona-conn.livejournal.com]

*enfolds you in a big hug~* I know how it goes, bud. I've had things happen some years ago that left me feeling kinda broken and unable to handle. For a long time, it hurt. But opening up, learning to love new people, to trust, slowly erased the wounds. I still feel a little sad about my past, but now all I feel for those in my past is a love that hopes they're doing well, but is sad we simply couldn't get along.

[thermalsatsuma.livejournal.com]

The past is long gone - nothing you can do will change it. However, the future from this point on is in your control. Draw a line, take a deep breath and move forward.

[http://users.livejournal.com/__wilderness__/]

*snuggles*
That's the real downside with depression... trying to help yourself to feel better by dealing with stuff often ends up with you feeling worse...

I haven't really got any advice, except what I try to do... it's in the past, there's nothing you can do to change it, so try to accept it and move on. I know it's not easy to do though.

[tehexile]

*virtual hugs* that sucks... I have a lot of problems with flashbacks... I wish I had some advice to give but I can't figure it out either, and it would probably work differently for other people even if I could find something that works for me...